What Parents Can Do If Something Doesn't Feel Right

Safeguarding, communication and escalation routes.

What Parents Can Do If Something Doesn't Feel Right

Most of the time, theatre is a positive, safe experience. But sometimes things go wrong, and you might feel concerned about your child's wellbeing. This guide helps you know what to do and who to talk to.

When You Might Be Concerned

General Wellbeing Concerns

Signs something might be wrong:

  • Your child seems unhappy about attending
  • They mention conflicts with other members
  • They seem stressed or anxious about rehearsals
  • Their behaviour changes around theatre times
  • They mention things that don't sound right

This might indicate:

  • Normal challenges that need support
  • Friendship difficulties
  • Struggles with the material or expectations
  • Issues with how they're being treated
  • Miscommunication or misunderstanding

More Serious Concerns

Signs of potential safeguarding issues:

  • Your child reports being hurt or touched inappropriately
  • They mention adults behaving in ways that worry you
  • They seem afraid of specific individuals
  • You observe concerning behaviour from adults
  • There are unexplained injuries or emotional changes

This might indicate:

  • Safeguarding concerns that need immediate action
  • Bullying that requires intervention
  • Inappropriate adult behaviour
  • Abuse (which is rare but must be taken seriously)

First Steps

Talk to Your Child

Before taking action, try to understand:

  • What exactly happened or is happening?
  • When and where?
  • Who was involved?
  • How do they feel about it?
  • What would they like to happen?

Do:

  • Listen without interrupting
  • Stay calm (even if you're feeling angry or scared)
  • Believe what they tell you
  • Reassure them they've done the right thing to tell you
  • Write down what they say

Don't:

  • Ask leading questions
  • Promise you won't tell anyone (you may need to)
  • Overreact in front of them
  • Confront the other party without thinking
  • Assume you know what happened before they tell you

Assess the Situation

Consider:

  • How serious is this?
  • Is there immediate risk?
  • What evidence is there?
  • Who needs to know?
  • What outcome would be appropriate?

Raising Concerns

For General Concerns

Start with:

  • Youth leader or group coordinator
  • The director or producer (for production-related issues)

What to do:

  • Request a private conversation
  • Explain your concern clearly and specifically
  • Listen to their perspective
  • Agree what happens next
  • Follow up if things don't improve

What to expect:

  • They should take you seriously
  • They may have context you don't
  • Solutions may take time
  • They should get back to you

For Welfare Concerns

Contact:

  • The society's safeguarding lead
  • A committee member if safeguarding lead isn't available

What to tell them:

  • What your child has told you
  • What you've observed
  • Your specific concerns
  • What you'd like to happen

What should happen:

  • They should follow their safeguarding procedures
  • You should be kept informed (where appropriate)
  • There should be a clear record
  • Action should be taken

For Immediate Safety Concerns

If you believe a child is at immediate risk:

  • Remove them from the situation if safe to do so
  • Contact police if there's immediate danger
  • Contact your local children's services
  • Don't try to investigate yourself

Then:

  • Inform the society leadership
  • Make a written record
  • Keep your child informed and supported

Understanding Safeguarding

What Is Safeguarding?

Safeguarding is about:

  • Protecting children from harm
  • Promoting their welfare
  • Creating safe environments
  • Responding appropriately to concerns

What Societies Should Have

Good societies will have:

  • A safeguarding policy (ask to see it)
  • A designated safeguarding lead
  • DBS-checked volunteers working with children
  • Clear procedures for reporting concerns
  • Training for volunteers
  • Visible commitment to child safety

If these aren't in place, that's a concern in itself.

Types of Abuse

Safeguarding covers protection from:

Physical abuse:

  • Hitting, shaking, throwing
  • Inappropriate physical discipline
  • Physical intimidation

Emotional abuse:

  • Constant criticism or humiliation
  • Bullying
  • Making children feel worthless
  • Unreasonable expectations

Sexual abuse:

  • Any sexual contact with a child
  • Exposure to sexual material
  • Sexual comments or behaviour

Neglect:

  • Failure to supervise properly
  • Not meeting basic needs during activities
  • Ignoring safety requirements

Escalating Concerns

If the Society Doesn't Respond Appropriately

You can:

  • Put your concern in writing to the committee
  • Request a formal response with timeframe
  • Contact local authority safeguarding if a child protection issue
  • Report to police if criminal behaviour is suspected
  • Contact the NSPCC for advice

Formal Complaints

If you need to make a formal complaint:

  • Put it in writing
  • Be specific about what happened and when
  • State what resolution you're seeking
  • Keep copies of everything
  • Request acknowledgment and timeframe
  • Follow up if you don't receive a response

External Reporting

For safeguarding concerns, you can contact:

  • Local children's services
  • Police (for criminal concerns)
  • NSPCC Helpline: 0808 800 5000

You don't need the society's permission to report externally if you believe a child is at risk.

Keeping Records

What to Record

Keep notes of:

  • Dates and times of incidents
  • What was said or done
  • Who was present
  • Your child's exact words (in quotes)
  • Any visible injuries or emotional reactions
  • Who you've told and when
  • Responses you've received

How to Record

  • Use factual language
  • Distinguish between observation and interpretation
  • Include dates and times
  • Store securely
  • Update as things develop

Aftercare

Supporting Your Child

Regardless of outcome:

  • Let them know you're proud of them for telling
  • Don't blame them for what happened
  • Continue to listen
  • Watch for ongoing effects
  • Get professional support if needed

Making Decisions

Consider:

  • Whether your child should continue with the society
  • What they want (with appropriate guidance)
  • Whether the environment is safe
  • Whether your child is being supported
  • What's in their best interests

If Things Aren't Actually Wrong

When Concerns Turn Out Differently

Sometimes we misunderstand situations:

  • Context can change how something looks
  • Children sometimes misinterpret events
  • Our own anxiety can affect perception

If this happens:

  • Don't feel embarrassed
  • It's always right to check
  • Repair relationships where needed
  • Move forward with clear communication

Remember

Your instincts as a parent matter. If something doesn't feel right, it's always appropriate to ask questions. Good societies will welcome your engagement with their safeguarding—they want children to be safe too.

Most concerns can be resolved with good communication. For those that can't, there are external routes to ensure children are protected. Never be afraid to speak up for your child's safety and wellbeing.